Back off Mom! But not to far

Reading articles like this reminds me how easy it can be to fall into a bad habit of pushing kids too much.

I am guilty of the same, I know my kids are geniuses (what mom doesn't know that about her kids!), so of course they are capable of amazing feats, if they would just sit down and focus. That is the key part I have trouble with.

I know Little Man could be reading so much better, if he would just stop preferring to be a jedi, a bit less 'psht shibt' as the imaginary saber slashes around a a bit more actual phonics and he could pull his reading up in a week.

Dude could stop making up stories he could learn to actually capitalize and punctuate the writing in front of him (or one he makes up, I don't care, just please Capitalize the first letter of a sentence!)

Princess on the other hand just needs to poke her nose back in her book and stop playing the 'cute' card. Baby Girl needs to enunciate, if she could just talk right I would know the difference between 'beddE' and 'peddE' (Belly and Potty).

Alas, all that 'psht'ing and pretending and baby talk has a very good purpose. Each thing serves to help the kids in it's own way. Oh it might be hard to see, but pretend play, as annoying as the noise is, helps kids figure out their place in the world. And yes boys tend to prefer the fighting, defending and protecting, and girls tend to prefer the nurturing/being nurtured type. All of it is practice for dealing with the world, or letting off steam.

So while I could play the parent card, and force them to finish fancier work, I shouldn't.

I have struggled with the right balance of asking enough, without pushing them to far, for about 8 years, the whole time I have been a mother! Some weeks I back so far off I don't ask anything of them at all, and while that can be fine for a time, done for to long it well leave a kid a bit unbalanced in learning. (the real world requires some topics to be covered.) Then there are weeks where the tantrums mount and I know I have asked too much.

I have no idea where the perfect spot is, so if anyone finds the right amount of pushing without stressing kids, please let me know!