Oh I am not above shushing my child for something important. My grandmothers phone calls, or some business call. Quiet places like libraries or churches of course. And well sometimes just because I am done with kids for a time.
But the rest of the time, children are more important than just about anything. This causes a slight conflict with my own personal loner nature. I need a good deal of uninterrupted time. Time where no human asks me for a drink, an opinion, or any sort of attention -you might wonder why I would go and have a bunch of kids! No idea.
Though at the same time, having such a nature helps me to understand when my children need to not be pestered by adults. They need time alone, to goof off and do (mostly) whatever they like. When we have a day that is packed with activities from morning till night, I know I will have frustrated stressed out kids. On the other hand when we have an hour or more for them to have a bit of one on one time with me, and a lot of alone time with themselves. Or one on one with their siblings. The day runs smoother. My oldest forgets less, heads in the correct direction for simple things. As he has grown he constantly reminds me of the one Brady bunch episode where the boy puts his homework in the fridge, and some other completely silly things. The boy was 'in love'. But my son is just scatterbrained. The less alone time he gets, the worse he is. But that is slightly off topic.
I have read, and heard, and seen, folk who feel children should learn to sit through a full meal at young ages. So even though they are done eating, they aught to remain and just listen. I don't agree. though there are times where a meal must be eaten all together, the average night is not one of them. Why would a kid who is being completely ignored be required to sit at the table? Unless the adults are interested in bringing them into the conversation, I suggest releasing them to goof off and enjoying some adult time. And meals in my house reflect that, when I am not nursing my youngest and get to actually eat at the table, we either engage the children in conversation or we talk as adults, and let them join in or not as they see fit. At no time to I expect my children to be amused doing nothing, simply for the sake of having them 'seen and not heard'.
During a normal day, I am often interrupted from one task or another by a child's discovery. And why not? I expect my husband to stop and hear me tell him about the latest article I read, and he expects me to feign interest in the latest sports scandal. A child's interest might not seem as important to all adults, but they are important to them.
Cars are time where we kinda expect to not hear the kids. The three oldest now sit in the far back of a van, if I can hear them over the radio they are way to loud. So e do tell them their job in the car is not to annoy me. If they are having fun, and interacting nicely I generally just turn the radio up or down when I can hear them (depending on if I think the conversation is worth listening to or not). I think if I didn't get carsick turning around to look at them, I would enjoy being able to have conversations with them more, but I have found I do not hear well from behind me, and like I said I get carsick.
I have never quite understood why a conversation by adults should automatically be considered more important than one by kids.
I don't spend enough listening to my kids. I certainly don't want them to stop talking and trying.
No comments:
Post a Comment